Tuesday, May 23, 2006

im sure i just love being in situations like this, frustrated, irritated, and you dont know whats wrong.

ive had enough . villianise me for all you want.

im sure i just love being in situations like this, frustrated, irritated, and you dont know whats wrong.enoughive had enough . villianise me for all you want.i know noone knows about this, or will read this. so im free to say what i want. i mea its always convenient and easy to take sides, to pinpoint the blame onto someone, to act and sound victim. but it takes two to clap. really it does, no matter how wrong a perso is, unless its to the extent of what framing you for like mass murder or like deceit and fraud. if there's a problem, im sure there was only one party doing the giving, tolerating, bearing and suffereing. im sure. im sure ive never tolerated, let you win. im sure of it. i think whats scary is that i lived my life like this without knowing this, with this kept behind my back, that there was this consistent problem that just grew bigger. and poof! it exploded and its all my fault. im sorry if i sound curt, but thats how it looks to me. how could i solve a problem i didnt know existed? i won't say im happier, or that im in a better place now. or maybe even worse off. buts its something i was given little time and notice to deal with. that's my only injutice, that i was not given a proper explanation. no closure. of course to me, ive done all i could as a friend, awful times aside, i know there were good times. happy times. hohoho roll over laughing and screaming and giggling times. i just thought those memories and bonds were strong enough to withstand any wrongs i would have done and those done unto me. don't get me wrong. im not saying ive done nothing wrong. but the wrongs i wasnt aware of, well i just din think they were so bad to warrant this. ive been a friend, whether or not i was a good one depends on the person deciding. ive doneall i could, if that isnt enough, and what i did really is so terrible. i wish her the best and hope she be happy. this was never a decision i made. i was forced to adapt with it, and im always willing to forget it and put it all behind. [ but again of course why wouldnt i? since im the villian and i would wish for NOTHING but to forget about this and reinstate my place as non-Villian] don't judge my agenda dont judge me.isnt the good so much more worth remembering and living for? all the favours, all the tolerate and try to get over it. rmb, i do it too.


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